This blog was started in the first place because er, I did not have anything better to do in life (still don't). But it also serves a greater purpose. The purpose of showing off (primarily to attract the opposite sex). So listen up ladies, I love reading books. Books as in, not those infantile Enid Blyton novels, where it is always about a group of kids and a dog trying to rescue a cat stuck in a tree or something. I love reading stories that are deep which deals with complex issues like morality, human emotions and er, well other complex things which are very complex that only intellectuals can comprehend.
So, there I was reading 'Two friends and the bear' from 'Moral Storys For Children' by Sriram Publications (The unofficial book sponsors for Indian Railways since time immemorial).
The story begins like this, 'Ram and Shyam...'. No wait, not like that, it begins like 'Once upon a time, in a far off village...'. Well, the characters are Ram and Shyam of course. Poor fellas! I really feel sorry for them. I mean, they must be like one of those really uncool guys or something. Why else do they not have any other friends (in most of the Indian stories that feature them)? They always hang-out with each other. Maybe they are ga... never mind, let's not dwell too much upon Ram and Shyam. Let's come back to the story:
They had been living in a far off village and they lived a long time ago (as they always do in all Indian stories). So these gays, I mean, guys have summer vacations or something and one of them comes up with this brilliant plan to kill the boredom that comes along with the vacations. 'Let's go to the woods' he says. The other one quickly agrees. What are they going to do there alone? They leave it to our imagination.
Anyways, they walk into the woods without knowing where the hell they are headed for. They are probably carrying some honey and watching Yogi Bear cartoons on their ridiculously loud China mobile. So this random bear, who has not slept for two-three days because of late-night shoots by Discovery Channel and Animal Planet, was completely annoyed when two non-TV people coolly walk into it's home. It decided to show them who's the man... and who's the bear here.
Meanwhile, these two guys who had been watching only Yogi Bear cartoons throughout their life was surprised to see a live bear before their eyes. So, one of the guys, let's say Ram, did the obvious thing of climbing a tree to save his life. (Okay, if you insist on Shyam to climb the tree, let him do it). So, Ram, I mean Shyam, was up the tree in a flash. Ram has this WTF reaction on his face for a split second (since he doesn't know to climb trees). He realizes that he must come up with something (if not go up) to save his life. So, he acts dead because he knows Yogi Bear doesn't eat dead bodies and takes a wild guess that this bear here also won't.
The bear gets amused by their eccentric behaviour. It goes near Ram to check if he's alright. Probably Ram didn't wear deodorant on that day; the bear sniffed him for a second and ran away. (Now imagine if he was wearing Axe and if the bear was a female one).
With the bear gone, Shyam got down from the tree to check on his China mobile that fell down when he climbed the tree. Er, and also on his best friend Ram. He doesn't know what to ask him, so to break the awkward silence between them, he asks Ram in a lighter vein 'Dude, what did the bear whisper to you?'
Already pissed off by the fact that his best friend haven't told him about his tree-climbing prowess, he decides to break the friendship and snubs Shyam by telling him 'It asked me not be friends with someone who climbs trees... er, in times of danger' and he walks off. And now the moral of the story says that 'A friend in need is a friend indeed'
The writer got bored after this point or something; he/she ends the story without saying what happened to Ram or Shyam or the bear that ran away. What if Anders Behring shot the bear on the way? Like this, there are too many questions that are left unanswered in this story. Some of the other questions being 'Why the hell did they plan to walk into the woods instead of watching IPL or something?' 'Who the hell told that bears can't climb trees?' 'How could he possibly lie so still when the bear was actually sniffing him?'
But all that is okay. The one thing that I go against this story is that it's moral itself.
A friend is not only meant to help you in times of danger. Even your friend has a life, you know. He/she have their own problems to face and you don't go and solve all of them. Shyam at least decided to give company to Ram in his ill-fated trip. By doing that, he had already fulfilled the duties of a friend. It's totally unfair on Ram's part to blame Shyam for leaving him and climbing up the tree. Actually, Ram is the selfish guy here. I mean, if he is so shrewd that he knows to act dead in front of the bear why didn't he just ask Shyam to do the same? It would've reduced Shyam's risk of climbing the tree.
You are just being selfish when you say, 'A friend IN NEED'. Even during your good times, you need your friend with you. There are no good times if they are not there. Maybe that is why they have Kingfisher in groups on most occasions. It is unfair to say that they were not there at times of need. They are always in need.
They had been living in a far off village and they lived a long time ago (as they always do in all Indian stories). So these gays, I mean, guys have summer vacations or something and one of them comes up with this brilliant plan to kill the boredom that comes along with the vacations. 'Let's go to the woods' he says. The other one quickly agrees. What are they going to do there alone? They leave it to our imagination.
Anyways, they walk into the woods without knowing where the hell they are headed for. They are probably carrying some honey and watching Yogi Bear cartoons on their ridiculously loud China mobile. So this random bear, who has not slept for two-three days because of late-night shoots by Discovery Channel and Animal Planet, was completely annoyed when two non-TV people coolly walk into it's home. It decided to show them who's the man... and who's the bear here.
Meanwhile, these two guys who had been watching only Yogi Bear cartoons throughout their life was surprised to see a live bear before their eyes. So, one of the guys, let's say Ram, did the obvious thing of climbing a tree to save his life. (Okay, if you insist on Shyam to climb the tree, let him do it). So, Ram, I mean Shyam, was up the tree in a flash. Ram has this WTF reaction on his face for a split second (since he doesn't know to climb trees). He realizes that he must come up with something (if not go up) to save his life. So, he acts dead because he knows Yogi Bear doesn't eat dead bodies and takes a wild guess that this bear here also won't.
The bear gets amused by their eccentric behaviour. It goes near Ram to check if he's alright. Probably Ram didn't wear deodorant on that day; the bear sniffed him for a second and ran away. (Now imagine if he was wearing Axe and if the bear was a female one).
With the bear gone, Shyam got down from the tree to check on his China mobile that fell down when he climbed the tree. Er, and also on his best friend Ram. He doesn't know what to ask him, so to break the awkward silence between them, he asks Ram in a lighter vein 'Dude, what did the bear whisper to you?'
Already pissed off by the fact that his best friend haven't told him about his tree-climbing prowess, he decides to break the friendship and snubs Shyam by telling him 'It asked me not be friends with someone who climbs trees... er, in times of danger' and he walks off. And now the moral of the story says that 'A friend in need is a friend indeed'
The writer got bored after this point or something; he/she ends the story without saying what happened to Ram or Shyam or the bear that ran away. What if Anders Behring shot the bear on the way? Like this, there are too many questions that are left unanswered in this story. Some of the other questions being 'Why the hell did they plan to walk into the woods instead of watching IPL or something?' 'Who the hell told that bears can't climb trees?' 'How could he possibly lie so still when the bear was actually sniffing him?'
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A friend is not only meant to help you in times of danger. Even your friend has a life, you know. He/she have their own problems to face and you don't go and solve all of them. Shyam at least decided to give company to Ram in his ill-fated trip. By doing that, he had already fulfilled the duties of a friend. It's totally unfair on Ram's part to blame Shyam for leaving him and climbing up the tree. Actually, Ram is the selfish guy here. I mean, if he is so shrewd that he knows to act dead in front of the bear why didn't he just ask Shyam to do the same? It would've reduced Shyam's risk of climbing the tree.
You are just being selfish when you say, 'A friend IN NEED'. Even during your good times, you need your friend with you. There are no good times if they are not there. Maybe that is why they have Kingfisher in groups on most occasions. It is unfair to say that they were not there at times of need. They are always in need.
Nice play on Bear Grylls da...
ReplyDeleteGood one...
Thank you. :)
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