Hi, I am Scratchy. I am a random Indian street dog and I represent random Indian street dogs across India. And yeah, I am called Scratchy because er, I scratch too much.
First of all, thanks to this blog's author for giving voice to the voiceless like us. Actually we do have a voice but people pelt stones at us if we speak too much despite the fact that we sound better than many people (like Ramiz Raja, Danny Morrison, Sidhu... these guys sound so bad that even we feel like pelting stones at them). But only the species of the same kind will empathize with the woes of its own kind. And this author seems to be of our kind and... he's kind.
Anyways, the purpose of this article is to enumerate the struggles that we go through in our daily lives, mostly because of you guys: humans. So, come on, lets start from scratch.
Now that we have finished scratching, lets start.
First of all, I will ask you one question: Have you evolved or not? You teach your own young ones that long long long ago, there was a time period where you were dealing with stones and you call it The Stone Age (remarkably innovative name) and now you are this sophisticated people who are transformed by technology. But boss, the truth is you haven't evolved. Whenever you see us on the streets, your hand automatically goes down to pick up one stone. Man, see, I am not questioning the Theory of Evolution and all that. I don't even know what it means. But what is this stimulus of stoning us whenever you see us?
Okay okay. Not all of you do it. I accept. There are only a few psychopaths around. But perverts? They are many in number. What? Don't snigger, boss. You know what I am talking about. We are biologically designed to behave like 'that' in the months of winter. Its normal only, no? If you see us with our opposite sex means that's all, you throw stones at us. "There will be puppies all over the streets, then. Unwanted trouble," some of you justify. I am asking: "How many 'unwanted troubles' have you made so far? If they can roam around the streets why can't we?"
See, we don't really interfere into your "matters" (yes yes, all puns intended). So, why the hell do you interfere into ours? If you don't belong to the "throwing stones" category, you probably belong to the "Stand and stare". What's there to stare? Don't you guys feel embarrassed or anything? You have internet at your house, no? (There also you watch the same thing... what is it called? Yeah, Doggy Sty... okay, fine. Leave it. Family Friendly blog and all) Then why are you so desperate?
Okay, leave that. Don't think I am blaming only the mankind. The womankind isn't anything better. Especially the housewifekind. Boss, they are not kind at all. Most of the time, they put one spoilt curd rice which even their husbands won't eat. If they can't eat it; how can we? You itself tell. Also, I pity some of the husbands. I mean, at least we have the freedom to go roam elsewhere for food. But those guys... sigh!
And don't get me started on these mummies. Man, they make some really good food for their babies. Dal, papad, sambar and all. Its so yummy. But you know what? Getting the food is worse than the fox getting the grapes in that Fox and the Grapes story. These moms will tell some boringly monotonous stories about a crow and a fox and other cooked up facts about the moon to lure their babies into eating the food. But the babies are like "Quit force-feedin' me! Put the rest to the poor dog already!" But still, the moms will waste another half an hour in feeding them. And I have to wait for like two hours to have two mouthfuls of food. Ultimately I will only be eating half the food so why can't she put it all at once in the first place? Dumb bitch (What? Don't take offence and all. That's what you call our female kind, no?)
Yes, ultimately you guys feed us even if its Delayed Dal Rice or Spoilt Curd Rice and we are thankful. And that is why we guard your streets in the night and alert you when there is some intrusion. But then, you don't want us to ruin your sleep. But then, you want us to guard also. Man, we dogs can't tolerate this paradox. We can just bark. We can't silently send you signals through some hi-tech brainwave device or something. We are not gadgets from a bloody James Bond flick. And most of you don't have brains is another matter.
Another matter, guys. See, like how you guys are physiologically designed to follow pretty girls in vehicles; we are also designed to run after anybody in vehicles. We can't do anything about it. Please understand. I don't know if you guys mean any harm to those pretty girls on vehicles but then we don't meant to harm you or anything. Its just good fun. What? You are also telling the same thing ah? Haha. See, now you and I are one except for the fact that we don't narrow ourselves down to girls; we run after everyone.
See, now you understand how much hardships we undergo?
And you know why we sleep on streets? Just because you named us "Street Dogs". If you find one customary brown Indian born dog means, you automatically deem it as Street Dog. You find only these foreign dogs cute (influenced by stupid Telecom companies). You don't value anything that's indigenous ('India'genous, to be specific). Some of the girls might disagree. "I love Indian breed pups. They are adorable," they will tell. But then for how long do they find us adorable? "Aww... that puppy looks sooooo cuuuute" they will tell and when we grow up, they'll be like "eww... they might have rabies! I don't wanna go near them". Boss, do YOU get rabies when you grow up?
We are even okay if you don't pamper and pet us like you do with some foreign breed dogs. No complaints. But stop treating us badly, no? Like you guys are killing us just because we are overpopulated. Boss, you guys are the second most populated country in the world and you complain us! How is it even fair? You guys castrate us without even asking for our permission. Man, this is one difficult world to live. Yet we are there, to chase away strangers, to eat your stale curd rice, to provide some entertainment to your little ones so that they eat...
We are underdogs but then, we are dogged.
PS: Special thanks to "whoever" inspired the blog author to take up our issue. He will probably pelt stones at me if I didn't thank the person.
First of all, thanks to this blog's author for giving voice to the voiceless like us. Actually we do have a voice but people pelt stones at us if we speak too much despite the fact that we sound better than many people (like Ramiz Raja, Danny Morrison, Sidhu... these guys sound so bad that even we feel like pelting stones at them). But only the species of the same kind will empathize with the woes of its own kind. And this author seems to be of our kind and... he's kind.
Anyways, the purpose of this article is to enumerate the struggles that we go through in our daily lives, mostly because of you guys: humans. So, come on, lets start from scratch.
 |
| Ah! You have no idea how that feels! |
First of all, I will ask you one question: Have you evolved or not? You teach your own young ones that long long long ago, there was a time period where you were dealing with stones and you call it The Stone Age (remarkably innovative name) and now you are this sophisticated people who are transformed by technology. But boss, the truth is you haven't evolved. Whenever you see us on the streets, your hand automatically goes down to pick up one stone. Man, see, I am not questioning the Theory of Evolution and all that. I don't even know what it means. But what is this stimulus of stoning us whenever you see us?
Okay okay. Not all of you do it. I accept. There are only a few psychopaths around. But perverts? They are many in number. What? Don't snigger, boss. You know what I am talking about. We are biologically designed to behave like 'that' in the months of winter. Its normal only, no? If you see us with our opposite sex means that's all, you throw stones at us. "There will be puppies all over the streets, then. Unwanted trouble," some of you justify. I am asking: "How many 'unwanted troubles' have you made so far? If they can roam around the streets why can't we?"
See, we don't really interfere into your "matters" (yes yes, all puns intended). So, why the hell do you interfere into ours? If you don't belong to the "throwing stones" category, you probably belong to the "Stand and stare". What's there to stare? Don't you guys feel embarrassed or anything? You have internet at your house, no? (There also you watch the same thing... what is it called? Yeah, Doggy Sty... okay, fine. Leave it. Family Friendly blog and all) Then why are you so desperate?
Okay, leave that. Don't think I am blaming only the mankind. The womankind isn't anything better. Especially the housewifekind. Boss, they are not kind at all. Most of the time, they put one spoilt curd rice which even their husbands won't eat. If they can't eat it; how can we? You itself tell. Also, I pity some of the husbands. I mean, at least we have the freedom to go roam elsewhere for food. But those guys... sigh!
And don't get me started on these mummies. Man, they make some really good food for their babies. Dal, papad, sambar and all. Its so yummy. But you know what? Getting the food is worse than the fox getting the grapes in that Fox and the Grapes story. These moms will tell some boringly monotonous stories about a crow and a fox and other cooked up facts about the moon to lure their babies into eating the food. But the babies are like "Quit force-feedin' me! Put the rest to the poor dog already!" But still, the moms will waste another half an hour in feeding them. And I have to wait for like two hours to have two mouthfuls of food. Ultimately I will only be eating half the food so why can't she put it all at once in the first place? Dumb bitch (What? Don't take offence and all. That's what you call our female kind, no?)
Yes, ultimately you guys feed us even if its Delayed Dal Rice or Spoilt Curd Rice and we are thankful. And that is why we guard your streets in the night and alert you when there is some intrusion. But then, you don't want us to ruin your sleep. But then, you want us to guard also. Man, we dogs can't tolerate this paradox. We can just bark. We can't silently send you signals through some hi-tech brainwave device or something. We are not gadgets from a bloody James Bond flick. And most of you don't have brains is another matter.
Another matter, guys. See, like how you guys are physiologically designed to follow pretty girls in vehicles; we are also designed to run after anybody in vehicles. We can't do anything about it. Please understand. I don't know if you guys mean any harm to those pretty girls on vehicles but then we don't meant to harm you or anything. Its just good fun. What? You are also telling the same thing ah? Haha. See, now you and I are one except for the fact that we don't narrow ourselves down to girls; we run after everyone.
See, now you understand how much hardships we undergo?
 |
| Er, sorry... wrong picture. |
We are even okay if you don't pamper and pet us like you do with some foreign breed dogs. No complaints. But stop treating us badly, no? Like you guys are killing us just because we are overpopulated. Boss, you guys are the second most populated country in the world and you complain us! How is it even fair? You guys castrate us without even asking for our permission. Man, this is one difficult world to live. Yet we are there, to chase away strangers, to eat your stale curd rice, to provide some entertainment to your little ones so that they eat...
We are underdogs but then, we are dogged.
PS: Special thanks to "whoever" inspired the blog author to take up our issue. He will probably pelt stones at me if I didn't thank the person.
*Wags tail in appreciation*
ReplyDelete